Leap of Faith
by feministfairytales
Summary: Where the "I'd eventually have to leave your bed" scene from Sizzling Sixteen should have gone, in my opinion. Rated for some mild cursing. Babe.


This is a one shot that could potentially be edited and expanded if I ever finish the other stories I'm working on.

"'If you looked at me with half as much longing as you're looking at that Mercedes, I'd take you upstairs and make you wish you never had to leave my bed.'

'Is the Mercedes for me?' I asked.

'Yes.'

'And the bed…I'd have to leave eventually, wouldn't I?'

'Yes,' Ranger said.

'Why do you give me cars?'

'It's fun,' Ranger said. 'And it keeps you safe. Do you want to know why keeping you safe is important to me?'

'You love me?'

'Yes.'

A sigh inadvertently escaped. 'We're really screwed up, aren't we?'

'In a very large way,' Ranger said.

He slid his arm across my seat back, leaned forward, and kissed me. He ended the kiss, and our eyes held. And I was pretty sure he knew he'd smoked the Mercedes he'd given me."*

I turned my head away from Ranger for a moment, gathering my thoughts back together after that mind-blowing kiss. I studied the Mercedes through the passenger window and felt the atmosphere in the Porsche shift. Ranger was going back to his zone, thoughts already gathered, control firmly in place. All that was left in our usual screwed up interactions was for me to get out of the car and head over to the shiny new gift he gave me and drive off into the sunset.

I glanced back at Ranger and met his blank face. "Thanks, Batman." Whether it was for the Mercedes, or the kiss, or just everything, I wasn't sure. He nodded in return.

I was automatically reaching for the door handle when a memory flashed in front of my eyes. I was seven years old, I was wearing a bed sheet cape and my bathing suit (the closest to a spandex superhero outfit I could muster), and I was getting ready to fly off the garage roof. Even at seven I knew that if I failed to fly and landed on the driveway it was going to hurt like hell. But I also knew that if I never took that jump, it would hurt a hell of a lot more.

My hand froze on the door handle and I stared down at it, mind whirling indecisively between impulse and familiar behavior patterns. I wasn't facing him, but the tingling in my neck felt like he was quirking an eyebrow at me.

A second sigh escaped, and Ranger's curiosity level ratcheted up another notch around me.

I was 32 years old, broke, tired, worried, and stuck in an unhealthy holding pattern with the most important person in my life. I could accept this, step out of the car, continue my crappy day, and wait impatiently for the next stolen moment with Ranger. Or I could make like seven year old Stephanie and climb onto that garage roof, pin on my cape, and take a leap of faith. Honestly, both choices sucked. I already knew how much this particular fall would hurt.

I swallowed convulsively and kept my eyes on the door handle. "Out of morbid curiosity, when you gave me my marching orders, would they just be from your bed, or from your entire life?"

"Just the bed, Babe." Low and husky. My ESP isn't as good as Ranger's, but I thought I felt some fear in his tone. I couldn't know for certain without looking at his face.

"And what if I refused to leave?"

I turned my head toward him and caught a brief, unidentifiable emotion on his face. I don't know what he was thinking, but his eyes were closed and the corners of his mouth looked pinched. Maybe he was counting to 20. Maybe he was considering the answer to my question. Maybe he was silently cursing me for being such a serious complication in his already complicated life. Probably he was simply waiting for me to exit his space. When it became clear that he wasn't going to speak my heart clenched in a sad and familiar way and I finally climbed out of his car and into the driver's seat of the SUV.

I watched from the relative safety of the Mercedes cabin as he also exited the Porsche and headed into the elevator. He didn't glance my way. Tears prickled behind my eyes and I fought to keep myself under control, at least until I was out of the garage and no longer under video surveillance. I sat for five minutes before I felt I could manage driving, and then I leant my head on the steering wheel and sat for five more.

That day on the garage roof, seven year old Stephanie learned she couldn't fly. But I was a stubborn kid, and I was good at convincing myself I could do the impossible. At nine years old I scaled that roof again, convinced that now, this time, I'd be able to fly. I'd been too young at seven, and now I was ready. Spoiler alert—I fell again, and this time I broke my arm, and broke it again when I jumped at age 12.

I'd stopped trying to fly off my garage roof somewhere in my early teens, much to my mother's relief. I accepted that I couldn't fly and buckled down to a more mundane existence. I went to college, I got married for all of 15 minutes, I got a job and paid most of my bills and drove a crappy car when I could afford one at all. I got caught up in the details and carefully ignored the fact that my life was directionless.

Then I met Batman and he ruined me for all other men.

Oh, I tried to deny it time and again. Probably I owned real estate in that particular section of Denial Land, and poor Joe was helping pay the mortgage. But no matter how much I lie to myself, a little corner of my brain is always thinking, "Holy shit! I'm in love with Batman!" And that's pretty terrifying.

Thing is, I'm pretty sure Ranger is in a similar position, though he'll never admit it. I've worked in his company and I know how much he pays his men, and how much hazard pay and overtime costs his business when he's protecting me. I know how much his expensive black cars are worth (though I still have no idea how he gets them or how much he pays for them), and I know exactly how many times he's put his life on the line to save mine. All those actions add up to love. And you don't kiss a person the way he just kissed me if that love is platonic.

The smart thing to do was just leave, I knew that. Problem is, I rarely do the smart thing. In the end the decision was easy because I'd already made it in that prolonged silence. I was going to take that leap of faith and damn the consequences.

I took a deep, shaky breath and jumped out of the Mercedes, ran to the elevator and fobbed myself to floor seven before I could change my mind. I opened Ranger's apartment door, dropped my keys in the silver dish on the sideboard, and walked over to where he was standing in the kitchen doorway.

"Forget something, Babe?"

"Yeah," I said, and then I grabbed his face and kissed him like I meant it.

He was surprised, and it took a moment before he responded. Once I felt his lips move above mine I plastered my body against him and ran my tongue along his bottom lip. He made a sound somewhere between a growl and a moan and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer and deepening the kiss.

When we finally separated I stayed in his arms, breathless and resting against his chest. His voice rumbled against my cheek.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what brought that on, Babe?"

I rolled my eyes. Batman wasn't so bad at denial himself.

"I'm taking you up on that offer to make me never want to leave your bed," I said.

There were a couple beats of silence before I felt him breathe. "Babe, I don't think…"

"No, Ranger, don't do that. I love you. You know that. I'm tired of how screwed up and complicated things are between us, so I'm making them simple. I'll take whatever you're willing to give me."

"But Babe, it'll hurt when…"

I cut him off again, "Nope. You don't get to do that, Ranger. I love you. I want you, it's really that simple."

He sighed, "This is a terrible idea."

I leaned back away from him and shrugged. "You've said that before. I disagree. Or at least, I don't care."

His tone was suspicious and his face uncharacteristically readable. "You always care. What's different this time?"

There it was, the same look that I saw flash on his face downstairs. This time I was sure of it. I smiled again and didn't bother trying to keep the happiness out of my face. He'd best get used to that look anyway, because I was pretty sure it was permanent.

My arms went back around him and I leaned into his ear and whispered, "You didn't answer me downstairs. If I refused to leave you, you wouldn't do anything. You'd be _happy_. I'm calling your bluff, Batman."

Baiting Ranger was never smart, but the heat of the kiss he gave me as he lead me to the bedroom told me that he didn't mind so much. The tenderness in his eyes told me I was right.

And before I knew it, I was flying.

*Quote taken directly from Sizzling Sixteen.


End file.
